Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
The idea for this post came to me one night as I laid in bed unable to sleep because I was in physical pain.
Looking out my window into the night sky I had to remind myself that I needed to be thankful for my pain.
What? Thankful for my pain?
I have to admit that all I could think about was my pain. All of the energy that I had was used to complain and ruminate about how much I hurt. Would it surprise you to know that I didn't sleep well that night? How do you think the next day went for me?
Not. Well. At. All.
How can I possibly find a reason to be thankful for pain? My back hurt, I couldn't sit or stand too long, I had a headache and now I was exhausted!
Do you see what I did there? I worked myself into a state of suffering. Every three to four thoughts were about pain.
How do we find gratefulness in pain?
The type of pain that I want to talk about is emotional pain. Though it was my physical pain that brought me to remember this simple truth. " Gratitude is the answer". This simple truth did not come easy for me to accept or understand.
I spent at least a year and a half of suffering. Almost every day, I reminded myself of the pain I was experiencing. January 2016 was without a doubt the hardest month in my life outside of January 2012 when my dad passed away.
I have gone through more than a few traumatic events in my life since then. Most people who aren't in my "circle" wouldn't even know. I had become a master at "Fake it until I make it". I had to keep much of my pain a secret because I didn't want everyone to know what I was going through. Does this sound familiar?
I remember when my friend Sarah asked me early on "What are you supposed to learn from this?".
I believe my response was something like " What am I supposed to learn? Maybe I am to learn that I am a pretty terrible person who has had even worse things happen to me. That my life is falling apart and I must deserve this".
Again, I let guilt, shame and self loathing dictate who I was and how I felt each day.
Once I learned how to shift my thoughts to being in the moment and mindful, my pain becomes less and less. It is a very deliberate response each day. Sometimes, multiple times per day. The thoughts still creep in but they are less frequent.
What am I grateful for? What can you be grateful for?
I am grateful that during this time of trial that I have found pieces of myself that were lost on me.
I am grateful that I have a car to drive. I am grateful for coffee. I am grateful for home. These are just a small example that I am grateful for in this moment.
I choose every day to find something to be grateful for. When I make that choice, it means that I have one less thing to complain about. One less painful scenerio to re-create in my mind.
There really is always something to be grateful for. Even if it is for a simple thing like finding a pair of matching socks!
Be grateful. Choose joy.
-LM
Looking out my window into the night sky I had to remind myself that I needed to be thankful for my pain.
What? Thankful for my pain?
I have to admit that all I could think about was my pain. All of the energy that I had was used to complain and ruminate about how much I hurt. Would it surprise you to know that I didn't sleep well that night? How do you think the next day went for me?
Not. Well. At. All.
How can I possibly find a reason to be thankful for pain? My back hurt, I couldn't sit or stand too long, I had a headache and now I was exhausted!
Do you see what I did there? I worked myself into a state of suffering. Every three to four thoughts were about pain.
How do we find gratefulness in pain?
The type of pain that I want to talk about is emotional pain. Though it was my physical pain that brought me to remember this simple truth. " Gratitude is the answer". This simple truth did not come easy for me to accept or understand.
I spent at least a year and a half of suffering. Almost every day, I reminded myself of the pain I was experiencing. January 2016 was without a doubt the hardest month in my life outside of January 2012 when my dad passed away.
I have gone through more than a few traumatic events in my life since then. Most people who aren't in my "circle" wouldn't even know. I had become a master at "Fake it until I make it". I had to keep much of my pain a secret because I didn't want everyone to know what I was going through. Does this sound familiar?
I remember when my friend Sarah asked me early on "What are you supposed to learn from this?".
I believe my response was something like " What am I supposed to learn? Maybe I am to learn that I am a pretty terrible person who has had even worse things happen to me. That my life is falling apart and I must deserve this".
Again, I let guilt, shame and self loathing dictate who I was and how I felt each day.
Once I learned how to shift my thoughts to being in the moment and mindful, my pain becomes less and less. It is a very deliberate response each day. Sometimes, multiple times per day. The thoughts still creep in but they are less frequent.
What am I grateful for? What can you be grateful for?
I am grateful that during this time of trial that I have found pieces of myself that were lost on me.
I am grateful that I have a car to drive. I am grateful for coffee. I am grateful for home. These are just a small example that I am grateful for in this moment.
I choose every day to find something to be grateful for. When I make that choice, it means that I have one less thing to complain about. One less painful scenerio to re-create in my mind.
There really is always something to be grateful for. Even if it is for a simple thing like finding a pair of matching socks!
Be grateful. Choose joy.
-LM
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